ROBINS AIR FORCE BASE, Ga. -- While we often associate intimate partner abuse with adult couples, it is important to remember that dating abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of their age, financial status, race, gender, sexual orientation or background.
Teen dating violence is more common than people think. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention relates that one in three teens in the U.S. will experience physical, sexual or emotional abuse by someone they are in a relationship with before they become adults and two-thirds of them will never tell anyone. Every day, our teenage crisis centers receive hundreds of calls, online chats and text messages from teens across the country who are experiencing abuse in their relationship or looking to learn more about prevention and healthy relationships. In fact, the numbers are staggering, nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner.
Why is this happening, and what ages are most impacted by teen dating violence?
Teenagers are experiencing their first romantic relationships while still learning basic relationship skills and thus do not always have the maturity to avoid abusive behaviors. The CDC points out that girls between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence, with partner violent behavior typically beginning between the ages of 12 and 18. Almost half – 43% – of women attending college report that they have experienced violent and abusive dating behaviors, with the severity of violence greater for victims that had a pattern of abuse established in early adolescence. Almost 60% of college students say that it’s difficult to identify abusive relationships and just as many say that they wouldn’t know how to help someone who is experiencing it.
While the issue is widespread, 81% of parents believe that teen dating violence is not an issue and 82% of parents feel confident that they would recognize the signs if their child was experiencing dating abuse. However, when asked, the majority of these parents could not correctly identify the warning signs of abuse.
So, what can we do as parents to protect and prevent this abuse?
It’s essential that teen dating violence prevention occurs long before young people get serious about dating. The most effective prevention begins by educating preteens and young teens about how to form healthy relationships with others and teaching them important life skills such as assertiveness and solid communications skills. This includes how to disagree with others in a healthy and respectful way. We also have to help teens recognize the warning signs; abuse and bullying in a dating relationship involve more than hitting, kicking, slapping and punching. Most abusive relationships start out with subtle signs that many teens and young adults mistake for love, with the most common warning signs being jealousy, excessive texting and calling, and insisting on spending every free moment together.
So what do we do at Robins to prevent teen dating violence? Do we have agencies that are engaged and available to help?
Robins has a dedicated violence prevention integrator working with base agencies to increase prevention and awareness of teen dating violence, along with other areas of interpersonal violence that affect our youth such as bullying, stalking and sexual assault. One area that speaks to our youth is often social media and the Robins Integrated Resilience and Prevention Office Facebook Page shares information from the leading agencies and experts from across the country in convenient ways for teenagers and parents to stay up to date in this ever changing digital and virtual world. While COVID slowed down some of our efforts in 2020, over the next few months the Robins Violence Prevention Integrator, along with the base Family Advocacy Program, Sexual Assault and Prevention Office and the base chapel are looking to partner with the Robins Child and Youth Program Manager and Airman and Family Readiness Center to ensure that we are educating both our kids and their parents on what to look for and what to do when you suspect that someone is in an abusive relationship.
Why is education the answer to prevention?
Teen dating violence prevention is everyone’s responsibility because it can be prevented. When there is a focus on reducing risk factors, as well as fostering protective factors and empowering teens through family, friends and others to lead healthy lives and establish healthy relationships, teen dating violence will be much less prevalent. Remember, it is important to create an environment where the message is clear that abuse in dating relationships will not be overlooked or tolerated. We do this by ensuring that everyone plays an active part in prevention.
For more information on how to recognize and understand the complexities of teen dating violence, the CDC offers a free online training at https://vetoviolence.cdc.gov/apps/datingmatters/. Those wanting to know more about local programs and help can also reach out to the Family Advocacy Program Office at 478-497-8398, the SAPR Office at 478-497-7272 or the Robins Violence Prevention Integrator at 478-497-5439 or stuart.bapties@us.af.mil. Teens in crisis can text CONNECT to 741741 to be connected to free 24/7 trained crisis counselors standing by and ready to assist.